If you were to open my YouTube app during July and August of last year, you would have seen several things: A homepage flooded with move-in day videos. A watch later playlist filled with titles ending in “college.” A search history overtaken by the words “freshman advice.”

I was both anxious and excited for my first year of college.

My anxiety mainly stemmed from the fact that I would be stepping into an unknown. Unknowns scare me because I like to be in control. The idea of walking into an environment with no clue of what to expect terrifies me. At the same time, though, I was excited because with unknowns come new possibilities. I was going to be in a new state at a new school full of new faces and new opportunities. I was determined to make the possibilities I desired come to fruition.

As a result, those months leading up to college were filled with extensive preparation. Every piece of advice, every bit of intel I could obtain, I was making note of. I thought that if I learned all the rules, all the tips, and all the ins and outs of college life before I arrived on August 16th, I could ensure that I would have the best year. I would be in control.

From August to September, my preparation seemed to be having the desired effect. By reaching out to other incoming freshmen on Instagram beforehand, I had a lot of acquaintances coming in, which was a comfort. Another comfort was the fact that my roommate and I got along great, and thanks to our thorough planning, we had such a cute and homey but functional room and were able to avoid excessive Target runs on an already packed move-in day. Additionally, as multiple YouTube videos had prompted, I made sure to take advantage of the fact that everyone is looking to get to know everyone the first week by attending every Welcome Week event, hall event, and dorm event. I wanted to make a flawless first impression because I thought that if I made even the slightest mistake, I would be doomed to a miserable year, sentenced to a terrible college experience.

I didn’t realize it then, but my mindset had an intrinsic problem: I was striving for perfection. I was putting all this pressure on myself to achieve something unattainable. So, despite my efforts, after that first month, the seemingly perfect reality I had constructed came crumbling down into a thousand pieces. Every semblance of control was gone. However, what was most surprising was the fact that those who hadn’t planned, prepared, and pushed themselves like I had now appeared to be finding their people and adjusting just fine if not better than me. I was devastated, jealous, and, most of all, confused. It felt like I had been given the perfect gift just for it to be snatched away shortly after. I could not make sense of it.

What I didn’t realize until later was that the perfect move-in day, the perfect dorm room, the perfect roommate, the perfect friend group, and the perfect schedule do not exist. There is no such thing as a perfect college experience. None of the YouTube videos I had watched prepared me for the simple fact that no matter what I did, there would always be things out of my control. I could not prepare for the unknown. I could not control my college experience.

As dire a statement as this seems, there is a freedom in acknowledging its truth.

College comes with ups and downs. It’s inevitable. However, when you view the downs as part of the experience, your perspective changes. You realize that there is a beauty in the downs because the downs are what lead to growth. In the moment, the ups and downs can feel like a torturous, pointless, unending rollercoaster that you and only you are being forced to ride; however, everyone is on their own rollercoasters, whether perceivable or not.

I am not saying that there is no merit in putting yourself out there, in preparing, and in watching college advice videos because those things did help me. What didn’t help me, though, was putting unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve something that was never attainable and to control something that was never intended for me to control.

In the midst of an ever-changing, imperfect world, God is constant and the only one capable of perfection. When you relinquish control to Him and thereby allow Him to remove the burden of perfection off your shoulders, it makes all the difference. God is a good God who gives good gifts to those who trust and rely solely on Him. That is the best piece of freshman advice I could ever give.

*Featured testimonials and student success stories reflect the experiences of individual students. These stories may not be indicative of the experience for all students. Employment outcomes and job titles are not guaranteed, and results may vary based on individual circumstances, job market conditions, and other factors.