Before graduating, I’d heard all the rumors:

Savor time with your friends now; it won’t be like this after you graduate!
Just wait until you have to enter the real world!
Friendship isn’t so easy when you aren’t next door anymore!

Needless to say, the narrative surrounding community after graduation was dismal. Marching towards my May 3rd graduation date felt a bit like marching to my doom.

I’m happy to report that, six months after my graduation, I am still a happy, well-adjusted human being with friends and family I love. Creating and sustaining community after graduating has certainly been an adjustment, but it is a worthy endeavor. In fact, life after graduation has afforded me the time to nourish and build on my friendships in ways I hadn’t before!

Today on the blog, I’m outlining three tips for finding and keeping community after graduation. I hope that by applying this advice you might be able to find abundant joy and fulfillment in your relationships, even when they are no longer centered around college life.

Remember your hobbies (& do them with others!)

After graduation, it felt so weird not to be working on a deadline. After clocking out of work my nights were just… empty? No papers to write, no tests to study for. Just pure, unadulterated, free time.

Soon, I was able to begin filling that time with my hobbies again. I started painting-by-number and I read more books this year than ever before. Life was sweet, but there was one problem: these were all solitary activities.

My post-grad life changed when I realized it didn’t have to be that way! I didn’t have to choose between rediscovering my hobbies and being with my friends; I only had to redefine what time with my friends looked like. Now, instead of centering friend hang-outs around academics or AU activities, we center them around our hobbies.

My husband and I have our friends over to watch Survivor every Wednesday night. Instead of watching cheesy Hallmark movies alone, my friend Eliza comes over to watch with me on my lunch break. And instead of writing alone, I take my laptop to Common House in downtown Anderson, where I still can constantly see people I know.

By incorporating my hobbies and quality time with my friends, I’ve been able to find so much joy in my post-graduate life. And if you’re looking to make new friends, this tip still applies.

Want someone to read high fantasy with? See if you can join a book club. (The Anderson County Library has plenty!)

Want to dip your toe into poetry? Try visiting a local coffee shop’s poetry night! (Mountain Goat in Greenville has a great one.)

Looking to play Dungeons and Dragons? Join a group in your area. (Empire Games here in Anderson has options for you.)

Be the friend you want to have.

Sometimes if you want to make a friend, you have to be a friend first. It’s like that cheesy phrase says: you have to be the change you want to see in the world.

Here are some ways I’ve started trying to show up for the people in my life since graduating:

• Learn your friends’ birthdays, and then celebrate them intentionally. Even if it’s just dropping off their favorite energy drink or sending them a funny GIF, they’ll appreciate that you remembered.
• Invite a friend to do boring things with you. Going to Wal-mart? Bring a friend! Getting your oil changed? It’s a hang out! If you’re going to do it anyway, might as well invest in your friendships at the same time. Bonus points if you buy your friend a coffee in exchange for their company.
• Host people (even if it’s nothing special). In college, my roommates and I were always hanging out in our common living room. There were no plans and nothing special was happening; we were just sitting around, studying together, and blurting out whatever random thoughts popped into our heads. Those are some of my best college memories, and I think we need to revive this kind of hanging out after graduating. Invite your friends over to do nothing with you. Play video games together, or fold laundry sitting beside one another. Your hang out doesn’t need snacks or activities, it just needs the people you love.

Connect with a local church.

My third and final tip for finding community after graduation is to connect with a local church. This one is so, so very important. My junior year of college, I struggled with depression. It just so happened that, at the same time, my boyfriend and I joined a small group at our church together. Gathering weekly in a member’s home, we shared meals and prayed together. These weekly group meetings were a safe place for me in a hard time, and I was supported in my struggle by the whole body of Christ, a group of all ages and backgrounds.

Similarly, my church has supported my husband and I as we take our first steps into adulthood. Just two months into our marriage, while we still had zero savings, my husband’s car died. We were left with only one car between us, and he needed it to commute to his job in Greenville every day. This meant I relied on friends and people from our church for every. single. ride. If I needed to go into my job, someone had to pick me up. If I needed groceries, someone else had to take me to the store. It was humbling and terribly inconvenient, but it reminded me of a universal truth: we all need people.

Connecting with the body of Christ is invaluable for finding and keeping community after graduation from college. College can serve as a built in spiritual community, where campus ministries and small groups abound, but you still need these resources when you leave AU. The local church is where to find them. Whether you need a listening ear, a ride to work, or to borrow someone else’s faith when you’re left with none, the church is where to find it.

I promise that it is possible to sustain your community after graduation. Life may change, but your relationships can be just as fulfilling. Take heart; there is still so much to look forward to!